ade

slip away
on a tide of cloth,
black bed makes for
dark dreams-

and i do not remember
that sinking feeling,
for the motion
is now my escape.

fall into arms
that do not soothe,
the heart— the vein,
arouses the soul

and torments it for
it’s lack of love.
careful am i?
so careful that

i look down at
cracks, at drains.
i wont fall, but up
i look at another chest.

another chest,
a big chest that
smother the mouth
and nose.

knowing not my
strength, i crack
a bone and if i leave
blood will flow.

but sorrow doesn’t
let me go,
when i take my head
from the pillow.

it feels like last year again, and i can’t write again, and i can’t think again, and i’m hating everybody again, and i want to be someone else again, and my family’s shit again, and it’s cold again, and i’m sad again, and i’m obsessed again, and i’m stuck again, and i’m telling it to tumblr again.

lover, when you wake
and find i have not stayed,
i hope you know i’m sorry
and have to break away.

nothing’s as sad as falling,
out of love or happiness
than being left alone
and forced to reminisce.

so i wont take your heart with me,
under my arm tightly held,
i’ll just cradle it in my thoughts
and my love will be well.

i’d rather have potential,
than a lack there of,
so a heart full of hope
is better than a heart full of love.

to fall in love with a man,
there was nothing sweeter,
and to have first touch of his hand,
there was nothing sweeter.

to cry for love, and to hate it so
i thought nothing was as bitter,
but to lose love, and have it go
nothing’s ever been so bitter.

the most painful thing

of all,

is to fall out of love,

and not land.